A Tongue-in-Cheek at a Glance Guide on When to Hire a Bellydancer

Have you ever wondered why you can't seem to hire a bellydancer to jiggle her lady bits at your next rowdy shindig? Why does she become closed off, defensive, or even hangs up on you without so much as an explanation when you tell her you would like her services for a private party at the end of a dark road at midnight?

It is an outdated and frustrating notion that the general public still still thinks bellydancers are adult entertainers. So let's clear up the biggest misconception right now. Bellydancers, burlesque dancers, strippers, and escorts are not the same thing. They are all uniquely different and are hired for distinctly different occasions.

We understand your frustration at this revelation. We do all kind of look alike with our glittery boobs and hair, dancing with focus on the belly and hips, but that doesn't mean we are or do the same thing. How do you know the difference? Use this layman's at-a-glace guide to help you choose the right entertainer for your function.

Best of luck planning your next event!


~N

How Belly Dancers are Made

 click to view larger

An illustration by Misty Dawn Waggoner on how Bellydancers are made. I like that at the "Dance Enthusiast" stage the belly button comes out. Too true. You can look through my dance pictures from my newb days to now. The waist band just gets lower and lower. ;)

Best Compliment Ever

A FB message I recently received. Best Compliment Ever. =)

Bellydance Inspo for When You're Down

Next time someone says Bellydance isn't appropriate for general audiences remember this photo full of approving, smiling, adult, faces. Everything is right in the world. Those other people just haven't caught up yet.

Educate Thy Self

So far, my favorite debate against SOPA and PIPA.
~N

Daughter Answers Father's 8/8/88 letter on 11/11/11

Dear Dad,

I just found your letter in a box of old stuff the other day. I was pleasantly surprised to find it just in time to write you back. Thank you so much for the present. I have no memory of what it was but I'm sure I liked it a lot. Don't feel bad that you were late in sending it. Even though I was only 10 I still understood that it is hard to ship packages when you are stationed out at sea.

The letter from your computer is very nice. I am using a laptop in my living room to write this letter while watching my husband play video games on our 42" LCD TV. Our technology is quite out of date but it is sufficient for our needs. When I am finished I will post this letter on my blog.  Most people don't hand-write letters anymore. Most people don't even use email anymore. Everyone uses the "FaceySpaceys," texting, or online chatting to communicate. I wonder how much longer the Post Office can survive with the internet's world wide free communication. I read an article in the paper recently (an honest to goodness print paper) about the USPS having to close down many of the small town PO's because of the decrease in revenue over the past 10 or so years. I never realized that the USPS has not received tax payer dollars since the 1980's. It's a shame the USPS has been taking such a hit lately but I do really like the ability to embed links in my letters. Cool, huh?

Did you notice the time stamp on this post? It is the eleventh day of the eleventh month of the eleventh year. It has only been 23 years since your wrote the 8/8/88 letter. Now that we are at the beginning of the century the same digit date happens more often. The next time the date is all the same digit will be nexy year on 12/12/12.

I am no longer in school anymore. I work full time now. I will have been with the company for 11 years next January. It was not exactly how I imagined myself in the future but my benefits are pretty good and I get a ton of vacation days.

Oh! Do you know how old I was this birthday? I turned 33. I'm getting old, ain't I? I still have never returned to California. I like to tell people that I was born there but I've never been. I have always intended on going to San Diego to see the place I came into the world. Maybe stick my feet in the Pacific Ocean while I'm at it. I don't know when or if that will ever happen but I am staying optimistic.

As for Kenny and Jane, I have not seen them in years. I probably wouldn't know Kenny from Adam if I bumped into him. I'm guessing their daughter must be in her early twenties now.

I hope to come visit you sometime next summer. Maybe sometime around my birthday. You don't have to worry if I like your gifts anymore. I think now that I am in my 30s money is always better, LOL! Tell everyone I said, "Hi!"

Love,
Em

P.S.
I've scanned a copy of the letter you sent with the gift just in case you forgot what it said.

Dear Zills,

I really hate you right now.

I don't mean that in a, “we'll never see each other again,” kind of way. But in a self torturing, “you make me so mad the only way to get back at you is to spend even more time with you and make you suffer with me,” kind of way. It isn't so much about the way you turn my finger tips purple from lack of blood flow under your elastic straps, or no matter how hard I try polishing you after practice you still end up tarnished and gross with oxidized finger prints and smudges on you. No, I can handle that. I can almost write that off as something to show off for all of my hard work. Like a scar or an “I was so drunk” story. No, it is far more complex than that. It is the mental abuse you inflict on me. It is your slow, off-beat, ringing laughter every time I play you with any intention. It is the way you give me encouragement when I am playing a rhythm and as soon as my feet begin to move you choke up and loose the beat. Sometimes you even let me walk around, maybe with a bump of the hip or a 3-step turn, and then you fall silent without a strike or a clang of sound making me have to stop completely and start over. You are like a childhood bully who points at my shirt and when I look down to see what is there you bop me in the nose. And you do it over and over and over again.

You keep me stifled and frustrated. You won't let me alternate between simple rhythms. You won't let me speed up enough to play along to songs I like. You just keep demoralizing me. You keep leading me on only to let me down. When I talk to my friends about you they seem to think you are just great. “Zills? Oh yeah, zills are pretty awesome.” You must really be pulling the wool over their eyes to make them give you such compliments.

I don't understand why you deal this kind of abuse to me. Is it because I ignored you for the first 10 or so years we were acquainted? Is it because I gave too much of my time to others and now that I want to be friends you are punishing me? Was I too into learning stupid-human Bellydance tricks spending all my time balancing swords and fire on my head? Was I too involved with editing music for a show you would never be invited to? I could see how you might be bitter about this but come on, I was young and stupid. I didn't have the sense to work out our differences in the beginning. I only wanted to do what was fun and easy. Don't hold the ignorance of youth against me.

If you would just tell me what you want I will do it. Do you want me to memorize rhythms like 3-1-3-1-3 and 3-3-7? Do you prefer me to alternate hands or play only on the dominate side? Do you want me to practice with combos overlaid with zills or just improv until my hands and body sync up? Really, what do you want? God knows I've tried to satisfy you but you just keep playing hard to get.

You know, I'm really ready for this relationship to just move on. I know I should just accept my karma, man up, buckle down, and take my licks. I just wish we didn't have to fight like this. I don't understand why our relationship has to be so difficult. Why is it always so hard with you?

Well, I really didn't mean to ramble on like this. I hope you are doing well, all things considered between us. I look forward to hearing from you again. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe when I get off work we can try talking again. I hope things start to go better between us.

Sincerely,

Naima

I'm not really mad at my zills. I started zill practice off ok. Tried a few combos and it started going downhill. Tried improv to a fun song. Things got worse. I finally gave up and was sitting, arms crossed, lip out, pouting. So I decided to write my zills a letter. And you know, I actually feel pretty content now. Read Natalia's much funnier letter to her zills.

Bellydance Tao

I wish I could remember exactly what the "Elvis" is.

When I choose a song for a choreography I literally listen to it for hundreds of hours. Over and over. There have been days that I listen to a song for 8 hours straight on repeat while I work. I sometimes get so caught up in the details of its every little nuance, what movement should go where, how will this translate to the audience, etc. that I begin to hate it. I begin to think my song choice is all wrong. That the audience won't like it. They'll be bored with it. My costume isn't right. I might not do the song justice.

I over analyze. I second guess.

I forget that in reality, the audience will be hearing the song with fresh ears. Seeing me with fresh eyes. I forget that the only way I could ruin their experience is to not dance to the song at all.

~N

Zills of Suck

Been working on my zills of suck again this week. With a record breaking temperature of 108F I don't really have the energy to move anything other than my fingers. I've literally been laying in bed in front of a fan on my back with my arms in the air zilling. And they still suck. But you know, I've decided to say that with a bit of pride. The way people use the words 'bad' and 'sick'. I picture the following conversation in my head.

"Yo, whaz up?!"
"Yo, I got zills of suck!"
"Fo'realz!" Followed by high-fives and posturing.

Really, my zill playing isn't that bad. It is still just very challenging and frustrating. That is one of the reasons I still don't know how to play and dance with them. I have found an excuse out of learning for too many years. I got to suck it up if I want zills of suck.

Word,
~N

State of the Union in Naimaland

Dance
Right, so I haven't done much of it. Creatively speaking that is. I have been going through the motions every few days but I have so much else on my radar right now it has not been a priority.

Miss B. gave me another pair of zills to practice with and I did try hooping and zilling at the same time. That was crazy. I am working on a duet with Miss B. for the next Inappropriate Hafla, I substituted 4 beginner classes for Springfield Bellydance Academy, I am still doing privates every Thursday,  and, I got my 3rd Jim Boz workshop under my belt. I also took a private with Jim and it is still sinking in. Despite all of that, I have been putting all of my creativity into other things.

Exercise
Some folks know that I have changed my exercise routine from when I feel guilty to 15min. a day/5 days a week. I have been doing this since January 2nd, only missing a few in the past 5 months. I have lost at least 10lbs and 2 1/2 inches off my Bellydance waist (the place I wear my Bellydance belts). I actually completed my 100th workout today.

I've stayed on target for 3 reasons. First I work out during my lunch break. I never actually eat during my lunch break. I eat more of a brunch and at mid-afternoon. I also work from home which means I don't have drive to the gym, change clothes, or be otherwise inconvenienced. That means 5 days of scheduled workouts.

Second, the Husband Person set up our old Xbox in the bedroom with the Yourself!Fitness game for me. I basically have a personal trainer and the exercises evolve as I get more in shape. Fifteen minutes flies right by.

The third reason is also related to my job. January was my 10 year anniversary with my company. I received a Thank You letter and a gift card. It made me really depressed to think that all I had accomplished in 10 years was literally sitting on my ass. So I got off it. Now I am feeling and looking better. Go me.

This leads me to Hooping.

Hooping = More time outdoors in a month than the past 10 years.
I have been hooping for well over a month now. It is seriously one hell of a workout. And since I dig it so much I burn an extra 400 or so calories every hour I hoop. I spend more time outdoors because of it too. My mom is even interested. I am making her a hoop so she can start hooping.

Tour de Halo
My free time not spent dancing or hooping is with the Husband Person. We usually catch up on movies/TV or playing video games together. This past week we replayed all of the Halo games in chronological order starting with Reach, Halo 1, Halo 2, and Halo 3. We have not played Halo Wars or ODST yet. We also watch reruns of Entourage, How I Met Your Mother, and The New Adventures of Old Christine.

Reading
The Way Ladies finished up Walking in this World by Julia Cameron last month. I am almost finished with Sandworms of Dune by Brian Herbert and Kevin J. Anderson. I am a  s l o w  reader and refuse to read more than one book at a time. Not much else to say here.

Beading Tutorials
Ah yes, the thing all my readers wait with bated breath for. I have gotten really good feedback about them. Everyone seems to like them so far. I don't know how many more I will do before I've used up the extent of my knowledge base and patience to write it all out. I am currently working on a complete project tutorial where you learn to actually make something from start to finish. It should be fun.

Blogging and Pen Pals
I want to say thank you to all of my readers. There are a lot of blogs I follow as well. Many more than are listed in the sidebar links of my own blog. I have them on Google reader because I am too lazy to go out and check each one every day. I really want to get in the habit of commenting on other blogs more. Even if it is just a, "Thanks for posting," to show my appreciation for all of the knowledge other bloggers share every day. You know, like being the friendly face in the audience while your troupe mate dances.

Finally, I want to address my serious neglect for not mentioning my Bellydance Pen Pal Kis in Australia. We exchanged addresses after Christmas and send each other random little pick-me ups. I get close to giddy when a letter from her arrives in the mail. Getting unexpected notes of friendship and good vibes is awesome! Not to mention, I still feel child-like awe imagining something from the other side of the world is in my hands.

The first card Kis sent me.

~N

Bellydance By Any Other Name Would Smell As Sweet

Warning: Out of character long babbling post ahead.

As a self proclaimed Bellydance Philosopher I have had a few ideas about the dance stirring around in my head for some time. I am also a self proclaimed Lazy Pants so I have never taken the time to write them out. Last September I read Foxy's post Turkish vs Egyptian Belly Dance: Where do you stand? and scoffed at the quote, “Turkish belly dancers strut while Egyptian belly dancers glide.” Whoever originally said that obviously hasn't seen the Egyptian dancers I have seen. Not only can they strut but they do, usually over the course of a really long entrance piece.

I rolled Foxy's post around in my head for a week or so reflecting on how I feel about all of the different BD styles completely intent on writing a response. Then a few weeks went by. Then a few months. Lazy Pants, or should I say Philosopher Lazy Pants, never took the time to respond. I know there are forums aplenty out there about BD styles, which styles sprang from others, which have more credibility than others, etc. (I recently learned that there is Improv Tribal Style now.) Honestly, I could give a crap about petty bickering over which style has a deeper connection to the music. I stay far away from opinion polls and forum rants and just about any discussion on the matter. I think the arguments are dumb.

“But Philosopher Lazy Pants, isn't it hypocritical of you to post your opinions here, expecting they be read, while not bothering to read the opinions of others?!”

Yes. Yes it is.

Actually, I do read good, well educated opinion posts, like Foxy's, and other BD articles but I intentionally weed out the whining, ranting, “my dance is better than yours,” posts.

Right, so back to my point. A few weeks back I was trolling around YIPpodcast.com trying to catch up on some podcasts and one of the ladies (Mary I think,) was talking about my blog posts. She mentioned how my posts are short funny snippets about my BD life that do not delve much into the deeper topics that others write about. And I thought to myself, “Exactly, right! She knows a Philosopher Lazy Pants when she sees one!” A day or two went by.

“Heeeyy! I have ideas...deep ones. No really!" *Whiny voice*

“Stop having conversions with yourself, get off your Lazy Pants, and write something already!” *Reprimanding voice*

CHALLENGE!

Not really. But Foxy's post with a push from YIP has inspired me to give my real opinion on BD styles. Brought to you in the form of an analogy.

The Bellydance Alphabet Analogy

It is difficult for most dancers to describe the different styles of BD to a lay person. BD practitioners often speak of all styles of BD having a common set of movements wherein it is the execution and presentation of these moves that produce the different styles, blah, blah. This is also usually underscored with x-style being the original or correct style. I agree with this in a scratching-the-surface kind of way.

I think of BD movements like the letters of the alphabet. These letters (muscles,) are put together to make words (circles, figure 8's,) words into sentences (combinations,) and sentences into paragraphs (choreography.) With this dancers tell stories. They can tell old stories, (what is handed down to them by their teachers,) or make new ones of their own. Sometimes, lines change in the retelling and the story begins to have a different slant to it. Maybe even a completely different ending.

What gives these stories a particular style is the way they are written. Some stories are written in cursive. Some in big bold letters. Large fonts. Small fonts. Some dancers dot their i's with a smiley face while others may scribble and leave it to the audience to figure out. I'm pretty sure I've even seen some “Wingdings” out there. All dancers use the alphabet, make words, tell stories, but each one is written in his or her own hand.

Just like with real words, not everyone relates to or even interprets another person's style in the same way. If you really wanna run with it you can go as far as thinking how different cultures can change the meaning of words and how that would relate to the Bellydance Alphabet Analogy. If you ask for a fag in the UK you get a cigarette. If you ask for a fag in the US you get sued for harassment. In either situation it is spelled the same way. Does that make it a bad word? No, of course not. Just as one style is no less credible than another. All styles are credible in the appropriate setting. Just because it may be something you do not want to hear does not make it less valuable or viable if presented with respect and with an artist's heart.

I believe the meaning in the movement is much more important than the font you write it with.

~N

Now feeling: a little existential
Mood: I think I used my word quota all on one post. I won't be able to write again for months...jk.

WWND?

WWND? - pic by Treszka

Hey there! So me and AH. came up with a slogan for dancing...

WWND - (What Would Naima Do?)

At our last performance, AH. made the crowd cheer and whoop for her by putting her hands up and making a "come on" gesture. I told her it was a good way to get the audience going and she said "I just thought, what would Naima do?"

I thought you'd chuckle at that...

Hope you're doing well!

Love, A

Artist's Way week one review

Naima standing Here. pic by Jman

Hyper
Starry-eyed
All ideas intensified
All projects moved forward
Discovering new music and old happiness-es
Not noticing I haven't eaten in hours
and DA....MN, I'm fabulous!

I haven't finished reading chapter 2 but I predict over-coming hurdles, fighting monsters, planting flowers on a dead past.

For
the
Win

~N

Now listening:

"Oh, the pheonix says
Burn for me
The Devil says
Lie for me
The serpent says
Beg for me
The siren says
Die for me"
~ IAMX - Song of Imaginary Beings (omg! thx to Jolie. Just what I needed!)

Mood: chicken salad and sweet tea

Earth Hour

You know what's cool?

Making the Earth better.

You know what's cooler?

Making the Earth better with a coordinated effort that is easy as turning off a light switch on Mar 28th.

1. What is Earth Hour?

• Earth Hour is World Wildlife Fund's global initiative where individuals, businesses and governments turn off their lights for one hour to show their support for action on climate change.
• Earth Hour is a symbolic event designed to engage people from all walks of life in the climate change discussion to send a strong message to our political leaders that we want them to take meaningful action on climate change.
• The largest climate event in history where millions of people around the world will unite by turning off their lights for one hour, Earth Hour, to demand action on the climate crisis.

2. When is Earth Hour?

• Earth Hour 2009 takes place on Saturday, March 28, 2009 at 8:30 pm–local time.
• Just like New Years Eve, Earth Hour will travel from time zone to time zone starting at 8:30pm in New Zealand.

Aside from just turning off lights, I am going to unplug our electronics, chargers, and non-essential appliances.

Here are some things you can do for the hour:

Light some candles
Read a book, comic, magazine
Play cards or board game
Drill you BD moves
Have a romantic evening with someone (ie. have sex in the dark)
Play, groom, spend time with your pets (or children)
Hand sew, bead, knit, crochet, or other handicraft (if you have enough candles to see by)
Have a drum circle
Take a nap
Take a candlelight bubble bath
If it is mild, sit outside and enjoy the evening
Eat, Drink, be Merry

For more info check out www.earthhour.org and select your city/country to help out.

Go forth and save the world!

~N

Now playing: The Peacekeeper Wars
mood: fruit roll-ups. You can put your own photos on them now? WTF? Weird

Everybody Yalla

Uh...Yeah..Uh..Uh huh...Yeah...

From the Turbo Tabla man himself, Karim Nagi - www.karimnagi.com
He also kicks ass at Zills, traditional dance, and teaching...Yeah...uh huh..uh...

I would go to one of his workshops but the closest to me is Houston, and in only 4 weeks away. Not possible. =(

mood: guacamole dip

Can a country have a conscious shift?

"Can a country have a conscious shift?" I heard this on the news this morning. An interesting question to ponder today.

I am tuned in on msnbc.com listening to newscaster chatter until Barak Obama's inauguration. (It's funny, the spellcheck doesn't recognize Barak Obama's name. I wonder how long it will be until his name is part of the built in spelling checks in computer software.)

Swearing in will be around Noon Est/11am CST. I am excited to witness this. I hope you are too!

~N

Now watching: history
mood: hopeful

Can we actually be a "United" States now? I'd like to think so.

What is the Bellydance?

Brittney Laleh and Naima @ Icon 2004. (pic by Autumn H. ?)

This page defines 21 BD terms with examples of dancers, regions, etc. It is actually a pretty inclusive list and fairly well defined in my opinion. Warning, It involves reading! Like words and sentences. No pretty color drawings or videos. Yet still quite informative.

~N

now playing: Cowboy Bebop the Movie
mood: OMG the TURKEY

Oh yeah, I just found a gift card that still has money on it. SCORE!

Welcome to Switzerland

Now playing: 30 seconds to mars
mood: A dee dee

I found this pic after Sa'dia sent me some motivational posters in an email. Something about this picture with these particular words crack me up. I'm not sure if it is the dude in the background, or the dog's crooked eyes, or the fact that the picture as a whole is pretty ridiculous.

So there has been a private running joke that I have become a politically neutral bellydance entity of my own called "Switzerland." And in my country of Switzerland there are no studios, or classes, or troupes, just the dance and the freedom to do as I choose. I can dance or not. I can enjoy the styles and classes of others if and when I choose. There is no pressure. There is no commitment. Just the joy of bellydance.

Sounds very Utopian, I know.

But really, I know what my dance goals are and they do not involve all that comes with the political, social, and business end of BD. I am a free floating neutral entity that supports all groups and styles. And I like it here.

The other night at GDC's 1yr Ann. a dance friend, who recently left a group to pursue her own dance goals looked at me and said, "Why do we have to be here?" She said this tongue-in-cheek because she is still fielding questions from other dance acquaintances who don't know she is no longer performing with that group.

I said, "Because sometimes we occasionally have to go to United Nations meeting and continue to declare our independence."

We both laughed.

It is hard to be independent without the support of others, which is kind of contradictory to the word independent. And I don't by any means want to be the leader(<- tie into flying dog picture) of Switzerland but I do want others to know that you can have a perfectly happy functioning BD life outside of all of the crap that can, has, and will happen along the way. You don't have to be a part of a group if you don't want to be. You can have different goals if you want. You can actually dance for the joy of it because everyone is welcome in "Switzerland." We don't have a census here.

Anyway, I think I will have t-shirts made.

"Welcome to Switzerland"

~N

Help Me Help You

How many Goth kids does it take to hang a curtain?

Now playing: Final Fantasy the Spirits Within
Mood: Zac's salty balls, lol

I'm gonna put myself back on the wagon. I am going to start drilling every week and get my muscles back into shape.

My b-day is in two weeks and I will get to have dinner at Lambert's. YEA!

On a totally random note, is there a male equivalent to MILF? You know, for dudes over 40 that are still hot? I tried looking on www.urbandictionary.com but got lost. If not, I say it should be CBMD, (Could Be My Daddy) *wink *wink
Cheesy maybe, but I'm out of cool hip lingo ideas.

~N

Clear Heels

Now playing: Dead Like Me -season 2
mood: coffee and cheesecake

Trying to practice choreo with unhealed navel piercing is le suck.

That's ok though. We'll do the YMCA and call it good.

Ananya bought me this dress for $2 at local flea for the "Dark formal" this weekend. It is actually more of a samon color than pink. It's not dark, but it is so awesomely tacky that the only thing to go with it is...

Clear heels!

I told Ananya she had to be my date now for buying me the dress. Hopefully, she won't make me put out. Ha!

~N

On a completely unrelated note, I was reading some terms from www.urbandictionary.com and came across this entry for tramp napkin. While the term and definition are less than cooth, I found the example sentence oddly amusing. I mean really, the idea that has been said, on more than one occasion even, is kinda hilarious.