I've been away from blogging since December for mental health reasons. The day after my last post I won an award at work. They mailed an award plaque and balloons to my home as congratulations. The awards dinner will be held in Disney World. Paid round trip and everything. The same night, a family friend passed away at 36 years old. He passed away sometime between the phone call and us arriving at the hospital. The Husband Person had the misfortune and shock of seeing his body still laid out on the bed before we had been informed he had passed away. It was fairly traumatizing. I've never experienced a day of both a high and a low of such extremes.
That weekend I performed as Rosie the Riveter in the Big Show, Girlz. The following weekend at the Malaika holiday hafla. I think both went well. I see myself in the pictures but I honestly don't remember much. It felt more like those times when you drive home but don't remember how you got there.
The Husband Person's birthday came shortly thereafter. It was not a happy one seeing as how his mind was still at the hospital with his friend and that now they were the same age. I tried to stay positive and accommodating to his needs. Christmas came and went. It felt awkward and sad. Then New Year's. I went to bed early.
On top of all of this, I was hired into a new department at the tail end of November. I was going through all of the growing pains of a transition into a new job and by January I ran out of steam. I am the proverbial introvert and had not had any time to myself for my own thoughts or needs. I wrote in my journal for the first time ever, "I am depressed." Hitting bottom one day, I hardly spoke for 24 hours. This was followed by a few days of doing mindless quiet tasks alone for hours so I could get my mind back into a feeling of normalcy. I did talk to a few friends and family about what I was dealing with but reaching out isn't what helps me. Reaching within, privately, is what helps me to process.
My "alone" time helped greatly. I kept January as low-key as possible. It is now February. I have been planing what to pack for my Disney trip at the end of the month. Visioncon is also a top priority. Meetings have been weekly since the beginning of January. I will actually miss the first day of con due to my Disney trip so I have to have all of my registration duties taken care of before I leave. I don't know when I'll get back to more regular blogging. I have a couple projects in the works that aren't quite ready to go online yet. "Easy does it," is my motto right now. On a lighter note, I finished the Harry Potter book series for the first time. I heart them.
~N
